The other day, one of my clients fell off her horse. It’s been over six years since a client fell off their horse, and a lot has changed since then. My first instinct is no longer to rush to get the rider back into the saddle, but to pause and reflect on why the fall occurred. Let me tell you exactly what happened.

If you’re an equestrian who treasures deep connection, genuine feel, and sensitivity with your horse, the idea of introducing food rewards and clicker training can feel like a real threat. The concern makes complete sense.

There is a persistent belief in the horse world that if we allow horses to say no, if we genuinely listen to that “no” and take it seriously, we are somehow stepping onto a slippery slope. That we are giving up leadership, inviting danger, and creating horses who are unprepared for the real world. Horses that are unable to cope with necessary handling, veterinary care, or ridden work.

The phrase teach your horse to relax is now everywhere, and on the surface it sounds gentle, caring, and well-intentioned. Most of us genuinely want our horses to feel safe and settled, and that desire matters. The concern is not relaxation itself, but the way it can shift from something we hope for and support, into something the horse is expected to provide.